What’s a bigger feeling than love? Loss." – From the TV series, Euphoria 📺
Watching Euphoria, this quote hit me deeply as I had recently lost someone very dear to me: my 13-year-old dog 🐶
You might wonder, why grieve so intensely over a dog, just a pet, an animal? To me, he was family. We grew up together, and he was part of my support system. Losing him felt like losing a family member, and it changed my life.
The first few months after he passed were the hardest. I replayed our last moments together over and over — our trips to the vet, feeding and cleaning him, watching him grow weaker each day, and ultimately, watching him take his last breath. I never imagined I would be so deeply affected by loss.
At times, I felt ashamed to express my grief, having been invalidated by those who saw him as "just a pet." Then, I came across the term, "disenfranchised grief”. It is basically grief that is not commonly acknowledged or socially accepted. This includes losing a job, going through a breakup or divorce, abortion, dementia of a love one, and yes, the death of a pet. Knowing this term gave me a sense of understanding, knowing that others were going through similar experiences.
"Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim." – Vicki Harrison
This quote rings true. Grief never truly goes away. What we can do is to take responsibility for our own healing to alleviate our suffering 🌟
Two main strategies that helped me manage my grief:
- Acknowledging and Accepting the Loss: Giving myself time to process all the emotions tied to grief ⏰
- Seeking Support and Expressing Myself: Instead of suppressing my feelings, I reached out to those who mattered to me 🤝
Some people didn't understand what I was going through. I realized they couldn't because they weren't in my shoes and knew little about disenfranchised grief. Yet, others validated my feelings and provided me the support I needed, for which I was immensely grateful.
As I expressed my grief, I gradually learn to accept my loss. Though his last moments were devastating, I cherished the many wonderful and happy times we shared. Coming to this realization, I’ve developed a deeper gratitude for those I care about, and now value and treasure the time I spend with them.
Have you experienced loss, whether human or disenfranchised grief? How did it impact your life? Grief can be isolating, but remember, you are not alone. Seeking support can be incredibly healing. Don’t hesitate to reach out and talk about what you're going through. 💪