Let me tell you about Roger. He’s just like you and I, trying to live by the day and doing the best he could. His friends describe him as a friendly, nice and perfect person to talk to. Little do they know that Roger just abhors the rain. Whenever the sapphire sky turns dreadfully grey, irritation would creep through Roger’s veins. How he hated the rain. Rain gets him wet, laundry could not be dried, walking outdoor is troublesome and worst of all, the horrible traffic jam.

Now, aren’t we all a bit like Roger every now and then? How often do we face something that is totally out of our control but makes us very frustrated. It’s even more tiring to change or control something that is out of our hands. Let’s take Covid as another example. When we were infected by the disease, probably some of us would blame ourselves for going out or blame the person whom we thought infected us. Slowly we lowered our guard and spiraled down into an endless chain of negative thoughts about ourselves, others and even the future. This then led to us feeling worse too.

Now, what if Roger can acknowledge that rain isn’t something that he can control but what he can control is how literally he could sediakan payung sebelum hujan (Malay: ready with an umbrella before rain). Maybe he could keep a foldable umbrella with him, look for things to do while waiting for rain to stop or find alternative ways of avoiding the traffic jam. If there’s really nothing that Roger could do, sometimes it’s comforting for him to just tell himself “It is what it is”. This way Roger found that he became less frustrated and less angry. Roger just did what is called Radical Acceptance. It does not mean to give up. It just meant that he stopped fighting what he could not control and try to make the best of what he has to do.