If memory serves me right, it was about 4 years ago when I was diagnosed with a chronic gastrointestinal disorder. Despite being cognizant of the hereditary factors, it was a diagnosis difficult to accept at first. I had to be really strict with my diet in the initial stages of treatment. I had to forgo my favorite food and drinks, not to mention only having smaller portions of food than what I was used to. Moreover, I also experienced major lifestyle changes and was constantly on medication every now and then. I did not really have a choice because I only had two options: to make changes or to suffer pain.
It was just recently that I realized that what helped me through adapting and accepting my disorder was that I have been unknowingly practicing Dialectical Thinking throughout the years. Dialectical Thinking is a skill in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that helps us in considering alternative viewpoints of a topic/condition/situation and make room for all the points without discrediting any of the points. Simply put, it is to balance two truths even when they seemed totally opposite.
Dialectics = Walking the middle path.
Out of the many skills that Marsha Linehan (founder of DBT) suggested to practice Dialectical Thinking, some of which helped me with my condition, one of them was looking for both sides, making lemonade out of lemons, and embracing change.
Turns out my condition might not be all bad, despite the pain, diet restrictions and lifestyle changes. As a person that aimed to get in better shape and acquire fitter body, my dietary and lifestyle changes have certainly helped me with my goals. In no time, I was able to drop some kilos off my body and got in better shape than before. I had more reasons to eat healthier food, less snacks, more vegetables and get more exercise. Another bonus was, because I could only consume certain food and drinks in small quantities, I was able to save money by not buying unnecessary things that I could not consume like milk tea, coffee and cheesecakes.
Once my condition was more stable and I had a better sense of managing it, I continued being dialectical by negotiating with myself. I would allow myself to have restricted food only once in a while or only on special occasions. I would also try to be mindful and aware of the quantity of those foods that I was eating by monitoring the sensations around my stomach. That way, I could still have things that I craved but also not go overboard and cause myself pain. Even if I feel pain or discomfort, I would remind myself that I have medications on hand and the pain would eventually fade away as usual.
May be the next time when something bad happens, you can try saying “Unfortunately (bad thing) happened. Fortunately (good thing) happened also”.